PFC Chapter 1: An Eastern Female Ghost, But Descending to Western Hell (Pilot Episode)
Chapter 1: An Eastern Female Ghost, But Descending to Western Hell (Pilot Episode)
Important Notes:
*Don't tell me how to write. If you really want to teach me, go to Patreon and spend $50 to buy a paid membership to V-Mom and see what she's capable of.
*Female top, male bottom; female protagonist x radio broadcasting demon.
(The female protagonist has male characteristics in a non-traditional sense, but she is not intersex.)
*The female lead is a goddess from the Eastern concept, more powerful than Lucifer. However, the pacing is slow, with daily life and main quests progressing together. If you're looking for a story where you capture and refine enemies instantly, or settle scores on the spot, you can leave now.
Although her name is ■■■, the female protagonist has her own name.
There's a reason why the entire text is written primarily in the second person.
*Harmonious words are sometimes replaced with *.
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“Uh…you mean Shirley took all the cookies I made this morning to the 666 news channel live, and didn’t keep a single one? No wonder Angel was making such a fuss about it this morning.”
On the Arrogant Ring Road, I can't remember which day it was, you replied to the voice on the other end of the phone with a rather helpless tone.
While you've lamented countless times how utterly lawless hell is, a few primal little devils, eager to steal your things, dart past on a street corner.
A hint of disgust vanished from your eyes.
You turn away, trying to pull yourself away from the feeling of disgust.
"Yes, I hope you don't mind... I mean, Shirley is probably still a little nervous. Maybe your cookies can really make her feel better. You should know how appealing your food is, right?"
The voice on the other end of the phone explained.
“…Vicky, we both know that Shirley definitely won’t eat the cookies herself after she takes them over.”
"I bet she'd be like a playful golden retriever, happily and kindly sharing the cookies with everyone except herself."
You judged me without any mercy.
As for Shirley, you naturally know you'll hit the nail on the head.
After hearing your assessment, the person on the other end of the phone remained silent for a few seconds before saying somewhat helplessly, "She had already finished doing it after you said that..."
……
"Amazing."
Realizing the outcome was entirely within your expectations, you shook your head and added, "Just don't let her sing during her speech, you know what I mean, Vicky?"
"Of course, if... uh! Fuck! Don't fucking mess around... what the hell are you doing! Shirley! Your things have been stolen! *Spanish profanity*"
Before you could finish discussing with her how to stop Shirley from singing a song that would make you and Vicky sweat during a serious moment, a series of noisy and chaotic footsteps came from across the street.
"..."
You, who could completely guess what had happened on the other side, sighed and looked up at the blood-red sky without any emotion.
Perhaps because the dreary red sky was so glaring, it was not obvious whether the weather in the Hell-Arrogance Ring was cold or not.
You're carrying groceries from Hellmart, with a bag of oddly shaped vegetables hanging from the end, and you're calmly listening to the commotion on the other end of the phone, which drowns out Vicky's furious outburst.
But soon, the phone seemed to be picked up hastily by someone.
In addition, you seem to hear a loud crash as if something is breaking.
Listening to the chaotic commotion over there, you suddenly regret not following the little princess of hell and her lover to the news broadcast building.
After meeting Shirley and Vicky and getting to know them better, you despairingly discover that their combination doesn't meet your standard of 1+1=2.
An overly kind and innocent person, but also stubborn to the end.
One only wanted to do something for their lover, but went too far.
"■■■?"
Just then, there was a sound on the other end of the phone.
The sweet and energetic female voice sounded somewhat uncertain, "Hey, Vicky, are you on the phone with ■■■?" Her voice was noticeably distant when she asked this question.
……
"...Yes, Shirley, it's me."
You stood still and first delivered a smooth punch to the sinner who was eyeing the vegetables on your tail, then, with one hand on your hip and a hint of helplessness, you took the lead in responding to her words.
“My little princess of hell, your loyal hotel chef is calling you.”
"Are you ok?"
Ask her.
"...To be honest, I've never felt so happy and excited in my demonic life as I am today!"
Upon hearing that it was you, Xia Li immediately put aside her doubts and said this somewhat incoherently on the other end of the line. You can easily imagine her standing there, excitedly gesturing as she spoke.
"But... I also really need to hear your... uh... um, that cold voice that seems to not care whether anything is alive or dead!"
"..."
You paused for two seconds, then said, "It's my pleasure."
Strangely, after you finished speaking, the other person also fell silent, which was unusual for them.
You know that Shirley probably has her own thoughts, so you don't rush her, but patiently wait for her to say what she has to say next.
But soon, Vicky's gentle voice rang out first.
You can probably tell that the other person is telling the seemingly innocent little princess of hell which things to say are important and which things to avoid saying.
You knew it was inappropriate to interrupt at this time, so you chose to remain silent.
"Yes, yes, I know! I just feel that singing a song can better express what's in my heart!"
Shirley, who was unlikely to listen to advice, argued with Vicky on the other end.
"And...we'll be a huge success! What do you think, ■■■? Tell me! You'll see me showcasing my skills on the TV screen outside! Right? Right? Right?"
Xia Li, who probably really wanted an answer from you, quickly threw the question back at you.
While making a puppy-like whimpering sound on the other end of her mouth, Hell's Little Princess also let out excited "ee-ee" whimpers from her throat.
You even feel like her eyes, sparkling with pink stars, are about to squeeze over from that side.
……
'It's hard to imagine that there would be such a blonde woman in hell. So, should we say it's amazing that there's such a blonde woman in hell, or that it's amazing that there's even such a blonde woman in hell?'
You remember this wordplay-like idea popped into your head when you first went to hell.
But none of that really matters, since it was the beautiful and gentle Shirley who picked you up from being an ordinary criminal and brought you back to the Pleasure Hotel.
If she hadn't taken you in when you were homeless and had to put up flyers outside in hell, you wouldn't know where you'd be now, under some bridge in hell, fighting with homeless people for the last bit of air.
Every time you come here, you feel a wave of sadness.
Unless you're simultaneously attacked by all six Ring Lords except Lucifer, your power is clearly strong enough to overturn an entire Hell Ring...
But in the end, you paid the price for your honesty—for example, by posting small ads outside asking for shelter.
Shirley is always very good to you.
After all, you never experienced the good things like eating and living for free or receiving money from others while you were alive. Instead, after death, you were taken care of by the incredibly kind-hearted Royal Hell Goddess and became a parasite. Your ultimate goal was even to go to heaven.
...It was truly a "hellish" first experience that brought tears to everyone's eyes.
You found it a bit abstract at the time, and even suspected that Shirley had ulterior motives towards you.
You just want to avoid the other party tricking you, a lone wolf, into some place and getting your kidneys cut off. After all, this is hell, and anything can happen.
Until you learn that Shirley is the princess of all hell.
...Okay, okay, now you're really a petty jerk who judges others by their own petty standards (in that tone).
Later, you realize that you yourself went to hell for no reason, and that the guy who sent you to hell might still have some humanity in him, and that you're living a good life now.
However, holding onto the old-fashioned belief that life can't always be smooth sailing, and feeling somewhat guilty for spending all your time playing children's games with Shirley, you choose to activate the active skill that almost every Japanese Ryuko (a character from a Chinese novel) is equipped with—cooking.
Then, you happily accepted the job of a hotel chef.
It's hard to describe how Xia Li initially hesitated when she volunteered for the position, but then the happy look of Xiao Hua, who was about to materialize, appeared around her.
It's also hard to describe Vicky's wide-eyed, arrogant expression, as if she's about to explode at any moment.
To put it simply, you were telling Shirley and Vicky at the beginning that they had never seen a sinner like her, probably because you shouldn't have gone to hell in the first place.
At that time, neither of them had received any letters.
Because after you said that, one of them comforted you, and the other put on a very cold and rational expression and said:
"You must have committed some crime to be here, you just don't know it yourself."
But after you volunteered to take on the role of chef and cooked for them for a day, they immediately withdrew their previous doubts about you.
Shirley and Vicky had long been accustomed to people doing good deeds only to end up with nothing.
They've never seen a sinner like you who hardly ever swears and is so reasonable and easy to talk to.
Not only are you willing to support Shirley's plan to go to heaven, but you also volunteer to be their hotel's head chef—and you're even a very good cook.
After observing you for a while, Shirley and Vicky finally started to take seriously the one thing you kept repeating after you first went to hell—
Maybe you really shouldn't have gone to hell.
You're glad they listened to what you said, but you also feel that their reaction is truly heartbreaking.
Sometimes you might even wonder, what kind of hardship did they endure before this?
Aside from all that, thankfully, Shirley doesn't seem to care much about your peculiarity. She's just happy that you're the most likely person to accomplish her plan, the most likely person to get to heaven through Hell Inn.
You neither agree nor disagree with this.
However, more than going to heaven, you really want to know the answer to the question that has been bothering you since you went to hell—
...Why did you come to hell?