PFC Chapter 203 The Ruthless and Disabled Crown Prince (107)
Chapter 203 The Ruthless and Disabled Crown Prince (107)
When touched, Ji Shumin didn't flinch. Instead, Lu Liruan flicked her fingers away and looked at Ji Shumin with concern.
"Does it hurt?" Lu Liruan asked softly.
"It doesn't hurt." Ji Shumin leaned forward and grabbed Lu Liruan's hand as she tried to pull it back, their fingers intertwining.
Lu Liruan grasped his hand in return: "I meant when the bones were broken..."
Ji Shumin was taken aback, noticing a hint of sadness and worry flash across Lu Liruan's expression.
"It doesn't hurt. I couldn't feel anything in my legs to begin with, and I even used numbing medicine." Ji Shumin pulled Lu Liruan to sit next to him.
Instead of being vague, she described the steps in great detail to show that she hadn't suffered much.
Lu Liruan listened quietly as he spoke softly and slowly, explaining that the old doctor had taken the time it takes for two incense sticks to burn to fix his leg bone. During that time, he could hear the "crunching" sound of bones rubbing together. Lu Liruan frowned, her teeth aching.
Ji Shumin saw that she subconsciously shrank her neck, and rubbed the back of her neck: "I was worried that Li Ruan would be scared, so I treated her on the day she returned to the Marquis's mansion."
He blinked, making it seem like he had a perfectly valid reason.
Looking into his open eyes, Lu Liruan understood that what he said was part of the reason, but she couldn't find the words to continue asking.
He could only sigh, his chest still contorted with discomfort, and asked the question that concerned him more.
"Will you be able to walk normally again once your bones have healed this time?"
How long will it take to see results?
Ji Shumin hesitated for a moment, then resumed his calm tone: "Not necessarily."
"Yeah……"
"There's probably only a 30% or 40% chance that I can stand up and walk again." Ji Shumin spoke calmly, as if he were talking about someone else's business, showing no sign of anxiety whatsoever.
"Why? Wasn't the leg bone already set?"
"The tendons in my leg have been severed for far too long. Even if the bones are set, other things might not recover." At this moment, Ji Shumin felt nothing but pain; he had absolutely no control over his leg…
"It's alright..." He looked at Lu Liruan's eyes, which seemed about to burst into tears, and said softly with a joke, "Even if you can't stand up, your leg bones will be straight after they've been set. When Liruan sees you next time, it won't look bad..."
Because of his thinness, even though his crooked leg bones were covered by fleshy buttocks, you could still feel the abnormal joints when you touched them.
Lu Liruan felt heartbroken every time she saw it, and kissed that spot countless times.
It seems that she had the same idea as Lu Liruan.
"There are advantages too... When Li Ruan kisses me again, I don't have to just look at her with my eyes, but also have to think about what it feels like when Li Ruan kisses me."
His voice grew softer and softer as he spoke, as gentle as the finest silk, captivating all who heard it.
He gently stroked Lu Liruan's eyes with his fingers, cupped her cheeks, and made her look at him: "Why are you getting more upset the more I talk? Did I say something that upset Liruan? Does Liruan not like being close to me anymore?"
His breath was suggestive; since he was cured of the poison, the two of them hadn't had any particularly intimate moments.
It wasn't entirely because Ji Shumin hadn't fully recovered; it was more because Lu Liruan simply couldn't bring herself to do it. Whenever Ji Shumin deliberately provoked her, even though he felt Lu Liruan share his feelings, she would push him away with an indescribable expression whenever he tried to continue.
The romantic atmosphere in the room had completely dissipated, and Lu Liruan said with a serious and sincere expression, "Why don't you... take some more time to recover?"
Ji Shumin narrowed his eyes, revealing a chilling and dangerous look.
He clicked his tongue, thinking he was being very sincere and reasonable in his defense: "I didn't mean you're no good, it's me! You're saying I lack self-control? I'm afraid I might hurt you again without thinking, I don't know how to control myself! Right...?"
Ji Shumin's lips tightened into a line, and his face unusually showed a hint of annoyance. If Lu Liruan could take a closer look, she could even detect a touch of exasperation in his expression.
Explaining is worse than not explaining at all; it only makes things worse. And the person who spoke thinks they are very considerate, standing tall and proud, as if to say: Look how thoughtful I am, how I don't hurt people's self-esteem!
Ji Shumin was so annoyed by her that he lay back down listlessly, thinking things would finally calm down. But then he heard Lu Liruan's worried voice: "See what I told you? You still need to take care of your health. Are you feeling unwell again?"
Ji Shumin: ...
At this moment, Ji Shumin's flirting still did not elicit a response from Lu Liruan.
The girl seemed completely unmoved; instead, her brow furrowed slightly, and her eyes, which had just revealed only sadness, now turned red at the corners.
"Could you... please not talk like that?" Lu Liruan's voice choked slightly as she spoke.
Ji Shumin had hoped to get away with it by lying to her. The reason he had just told Lu Liruan was indeed what he was thinking. If he had told Lu Liruan beforehand, she would have been worried about him.
Lately, she's become quite paranoid because of her own situation. Ji Shumin can sense that her nerves are constantly on edge, and she reacts strongly to the slightest disturbance.
Sometimes, even if he was just slightly unwell, Lu Liruan would be unable to sleep all night, asking him questions again and again and checking on him repeatedly.
Ji Shumin was never impatient. He would answer Lu Liruan's questions one by one. Sometimes, when he was in a light sleep, he could still feel the restless rustling of the clothes of the person next to him.
Even though he sincerely told Lu Liruan that he was fine and that he hadn't lied at all, Lu Liruan agreed verbally, but she still couldn't let go of the worry in her heart.
It seems to be a lingering effect of being frightened, and it can't be relieved in a short time. We can only wait for time to heal it.
Ji Shumin was worried that she would fall ill from worry.
He had planned to keep Lu Liruan from seeing him during treatment, so that when she returned, she would see that everything had settled down and he was perfectly fine, which would save Lu Liruan some trouble.
Unexpectedly, Lu Liruan seemed even more worried.
Ji Shumin was eloquent and could debate with scholars in the court, but when he came to Lu Liruan, he suddenly realized what it meant to not know how to speak.
“Li Ruan…” Ji Shumin leaned over and kissed her eye urgently, as if to comfort Lu Li Ruan’s sadness and prevent her from shedding tears.
"Don't say that. It's as if... as if I despise you. You only did such a dangerous thing to please me." Lu Liruan grabbed Ji Shumin's shirt and squeezed it tightly.
Lu Liruan knew that Ji Shumin had not lied to her.
But what she didn't tell Ji Shumin was that the question she had just asked was one she had asked the old doctor when he was being detoxified.
Perhaps sensing Lu Liruan's helplessness, the old doctor would come every other day after that visit, examine Ji Shumin's condition, stay for a while, and chat with Lu Liruan for a few minutes.
One day, Ji Shumin must have been in severe leg pain, because he unconsciously reached up and pressed his hand against his leg. According to the old doctor, during the detoxification process, all the tendons and veins in his body must have been in excruciating pain, accompanied by a sensation like ants crawling on his bone marrow and tendons. Falling into a coma was actually not a bad thing for him.
The old doctor vigorously kneaded and massaged some meridian point on Ji Shumin's body, and only then did Ji Shumin stop struggling.
Lu Liruan asked him, "His leg hurts, is there any chance he'll be able to stand up again?"
The old doctor's answer at the time was the same as Ji Shumin's: there was only a 30% or 40% chance.
Moreover, not only does the leg bone need to be broken and set again, but the tendon growth also needs to be corrected repeatedly during the recovery process. The pain endured each time is no less than that of breaking a bone.
When you first break a bone, because you don't have much intuition, you might not suffer as much.
But as time goes on, and the bones and tendons grow and recover, the sensation will become stronger and stronger. But if you want to walk, you have to go through this pain.
However, this is not guaranteed to be successful, because if it takes too long, even the experienced doctor cannot guarantee the final outcome.
If Ji Shumin gives up hope of walking again, the old doctor can use medicine to relieve his leg pain so that he will not suffer again.
However, if the bones and tendons are reattached, there is no way to fix it. Regardless of the success or failure, the pain will accompany Ji Shumin from time to time for the rest of his life.
Even after you can walk, the pain will still occur and cannot be cured.
Ji Shumin hadn't lied to her, but he hadn't told her the whole story either. He only mentioned what didn't worry her so much, and Lu Liruan's chest tightened even more...
Hearing Ji Shumin's seemingly dismissive joke, Lu Liruan felt heartbroken and powerless, but didn't know how to express it.
"Alright, alright, I won't say anything more." Ji Shumin realized something was wrong, and her tone was as gentle as could be. She apologized without hesitation: "It was my oversight. I shouldn't have joked about this with Li Ruan."
He said seriously, "It was my own decision. Whether it's good or bad, it has nothing to do with Li Ruan."
"It has nothing to do with me?" Lu Liruan tightened her grip on his clothes.
“That’s not what I meant…” Ji Shumin said helplessly. In front of Lu Liruan, he began to feel that he was clumsy and tongue-tied.
“I know.” Lu Liruan didn’t insist that he explain. She understood what Ji Shumin meant. He didn’t want her to feel any trouble or guilt because of the success or failure of his treatment.
But even so...
How could I possibly feel fortunate just because I don't take responsibility or feel guilty?
None of that matters. What matters is that Lu Liruan can't bear to see him suffer any more. Perhaps it's also out of selfishness that Ji Shumin can still endure it, but he himself can't.
Sensing her silent struggle, Ji Shumin grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms.
Lu Liruan's shoulders trembled slightly as she wrapped her arms around Ji Shumin, as if she had found a pillar of support for herself.
"Why do we have to try?" Lu Liruan asked.
Lu Liruan wanted to say that she didn't care what he was like, that was her true feeling, but she swallowed the words back before they could come out.
He takes himself too seriously.
Ji Shumin had many other reasons in his heart, perhaps for the throne, perhaps for dignity; he may have had countless reasons to choose to try.
Ji Shumin fell silent. He nuzzled close to Lu Liruan's ear and said solemnly, "I can be incomplete, I can endure incompleteness, but only endure."
“I’m not reconciled, Li Ruan… The nonchalant attitude I project to others is all fake, it’s all an act.” Ji Shumin bit Lu Li Ruan’s earlobe quite hard with the tip of his teeth.
The moment Lu Liruan felt the stinging pain, she heard him stubbornly grit his teeth and say, "I want to stand up, instead of being trapped on these wooden wheels forever."
He laid bare his true self to Lu Liruan: "I am such a hypocrite, is it only today that Liruan realizes this?"
What kind of hypocrisy is this?
Lu Liruan was about to refute him when Ji Shumin continued, "You just said you didn't want Liruan to feel any burden or guilt... that was a lie, you were just deceiving Liruan."
"Since Li Ruan won't let me lie to you, then Li Ruan can only listen to what I really think."
His tone was somewhat gloomy, and he held Lu Liruan tightly, as if to prevent her from breaking free.
“What Li Ruan said a few days ago, that she wanted to walk the path she wanted, I care about it a lot.” He suddenly changed the subject, catching everyone off guard.
Lu Liruan's mind raced after his words, and she was both amused and exasperated: "What are you talking about..."
“If you can stand up, I can follow you wherever you go. If you can’t stand up…” he said seriously, “then you won’t be able to go anywhere. I won’t let you go. I will use your soft heart and guilt, your gentle and kind nature, to make you stay by my side.”
"I might lie to Li Ruan and say that I tried it because I was worried about losing you and afraid that you would dislike me, so that I could feel at ease letting Li Ruan be with me."
As he spoke, he held Li Ruan's head, making her rest her chin on his shoulder, preventing her from escaping and showing her his expression.
Lu Liruan was caught off guard by his frank confession of his despicable thoughts, and felt that what he said was indeed something he was capable of doing.
But he spoke frankly, proving that he was not going to do that.
"Why should I tell you? If you want to, you can definitely fool me." Lu Liruan wasn't lying. If Ji Shumin really wanted to deceive her, she would be fooled by him in a very difficult way!
“It’s meaningless…” Ji Shumin murmured.
"If my selfish desires make Li Ruan unhappy, then that's different from what I want Li Ruan to have."
Ji Shumin finally loosened his grip a little.
Lu Liruan turned her head to look at his long, drooping eyelashes, which obscured his still gloomy pupils.
"I want Li Ruan to have the best, the most precious, and the most sincere things in the world."
The knot in Lu Liruan's heart gradually dissipated. Through Ji Shumin's words, she also sorted out her own thoughts: she was afraid that Ji Shumin's actions were because of her, but she was also worried that Ji Shumin's actions were not because of her.
Now that he has explained it so clearly, Lu Liruan understands his resentment and forbearance, and feels that it was inevitable that he made this choice.