PFC What's Chapter 53, "The Name Change Scandal," about? Hey Siri?
What's Chapter 53, "The Name Change Scandal," about? Hey Siri?
In 649 AD, in a parallel universe during the prosperous Tang Dynasty, Xiao Si's father was sitting on the dragon throne in the ICU, his brows furrowed, seemingly contemplating some important national matter.
Suddenly, he slammed his hand on a proposal on his desk and declared loudly, "I agree to this suggestion. From now on, all subjects and commoners whose names contain the characters '世' (shi) and '民' (min) must avoid using these two characters!" Upon hearing this, half of the court officials looked at each other, at a loss for what to do.
A minister cautiously asked, "Your Majesty, what should be done if someone's name contains these two characters?" The minister who had submitted the memorial requesting the avoidance of using the emperor's name stepped forward, smiled slightly, and replied, "Simple, change the name!"
As a result, a wave of name-changing swept across the Tang Dynasty.
The name "Li Shijie" was changed to "Li Jiejie"; the name "Ding Minqiang" was changed to "Ding Qiangqiang".
There was even a man named "Zhang Shimin" who became a laughing stock for a time and eventually had to change his name to "Zhang Gousheng".
Zhang Gousheng? Haha, that's right, he's the second uncle of Zhang San, that little bastard who takes pride in his sewing skills!
The people were also in chaos.
There was a failed scholar named Zhu Ganshi who made a living selling calligraphy and paintings. He said to his customers with a worried look, "From now on, I can only be called 'Pig Liver'!!"
The customers burst into laughter, with one jokingly saying, "Then shouldn't your calligraphy and paintings also go up in price? After all, the signature 'Pig Liver' sounds more down-to-earth."
In this trend of name changes, the most hilarious one is a scholar named "Qin Shimin".
He was originally preparing to take the imperial examination, but he was disqualified from the exam because of a problem with his name.
With a worried look on his face, he said to the old scholar Zhu Gan, who had learned from his mistakes, "You failed because you lacked interview skills. I spent a lot of effort studying the tricks of the trade, and I'm even a distant relative of Xu Qidan, yet I still failed. Fortunately, I can change my name to 'Xu Shenghua' next year and keep fighting. I hope my thoughts will flow freely, my writing will be brilliant, and I will pass the imperial examination with flying colors!"
The old scholar Zhu Gan patted him on the shoulder and comforted him, "Don't worry, maybe one day we'll be allowed to use '世' and '民' again."
As Xiao Si observed this, he discovered that both inside and outside the Tang Dynasty court, a farcical drama of taboo was unfolding because of these two characters.
Emperor Taizong never expected that a single imperial edict would bring so much laughter and chaos.
Only the little rhinoceros, who travels everywhere, could understand Aye's predicament: "This name no longer belongs to Aye himself, but has become a spiritual symbol of the country, and cannot be joked about casually. Therefore, although doing so has brought a lot of trouble, the benefits clearly outweigh the drawbacks."
In 649 AD, Xu Shiji stood in front of a mirror, looking at his reflection as he transformed from a young general into an old one, and he couldn't help but laugh.
He recalled the twists and turns of his life, from an ordinary boy to a general of the Tang Dynasty, and then to the upheavals of changing his surname and name...
Here's what happened: When Xu Shiji was young, he was granted the surname Li because of his outstanding military achievements, and from then on he became Li Shiji.
But for some reason, the little temple manager who was picked up was called Li Ji—Brother Pork Tenderloin.
Finally, in that year, when he had to remove the character "世" from his name, leaving only "李积", he suddenly realized the truth.
He couldn't help but chuckle whenever he thought of Xiaosi calling him "Pork Tenderloin Pot" or "Pork Tenderloin Uncle."
He finally realized that his name without the character "世" sounded the same as "里脊" (pork tenderloin) from the little girl Koji, whom he met when he was 16.
He recalled the five years he spent with Koji, which became the warmest moment of his life.
Holding a piece of roasted meat, Xiao Si excitedly said to Li Ji, "This pork tenderloin is so delicious! Thank you, pork tenderloin bro!!"
Xu Shiji initially thought the little girl was innocent and adorable, never imagining that years later, his name would sound similar to the food she mentioned. Memories of his time with Xiaosi have become a source of comfort in Li Ji's busy military life.
Moreover, he became even more certain that the little temple with bare feet that he had picked up was a person from the future.
This little guy not only wears a strange skin suit, but also always talks to the air, as if he is talking to an invisible friend. Moreover, most of the time, people cannot understand what he is saying.
The most outrageous thing was that she had a carpenter make her a rectangular block and named it "Hand Chicken," which was one of her favorite toys. She would talk to it...
"Hey Siri, tell me a joke."
Hey Siri, what's the weather like today?
Hey Siri, what's the horoscope for Pisces in October?
The most outrageous thing was that she had a carpenter make her a rectangular block and named it "Hand Chicken," which was one of her favorite toys. She would say to it, "Hey Siri, tell me a joke." "Hey Siri, what's the weather like today?"
Hey Siri, what's the horoscope for Pisces in October?
Of course, the little wooden toy called "hand-made chicken" wouldn't answer.
Then, she would close her eyes, take a deep breath, and say mysteriously, "Pisces friends, you may encounter some challenges this month, but remember, Mercury retrograde is only temporary. Stay optimistic, and everything will be alright!"
After each question she asked, she would pretend to be a cube and respond in a special way—it would make a creaking sound like wood rubbing together: "Hello, I'm trying to understand your question, please wait a moment."
Then, she would answer her own question as before, in a very serious tone, as if the "hand chicken" had really given her the answer.
"Hey Siri, tell me a joke." She'll chuckle to herself and then say, "Do you know why the computer got sick? Because it got a virus! And then, Little Rhino became a bug, constantly traversing time and space." Then she'll clap her hands.
At this moment, Li Ji felt that Si Zi was his lucky star. The market was booming and everything was red! He hadn't even moved from that godforsaken place of Diezhou yet, and the letter of appointment had already arrived in his hands at breakneck speed!
From then on, Xiao Si's brother, Li Ji, directly became a Grand Master of the Palace and a Third-Rank Official of the Secretariat and the Chancellery. This title was as long as a tongue twister. For a Qingliu official born into a lowly soldier in the Tang Dynasty, it was practically harder than climbing to heaven!
In just sixteen days, my friends, sixteen days! Li Ji went from the brink of demotion to a prime minister-level figure, faster than the speed of light! Of course, the saying "sixteen days on stage, half a lifetime off stage" still holds true.
Li Ji thus entered the core team. Before he could even settle into his position, three months later, hey, he was promoted again, appointed as the head of the Ministry of Personnel, the Left Vice Minister. Now, he was promoted several ranks in a row, soaring straight to the top!
In the imperial court, the two powerful figures, Changsun Wuji and Chu Suiliang, held immense power, creating an atmosphere akin to a comedy duo, one playing the lead and the other the supporting role. Militarily, Li Ji became the indispensable superhero, the sole savior of the early Tang dynasty!
Seeing this, Xiao Si felt incredibly relieved. With the affairs of state taken care of, she could finally rest assured about her little emperor brother, Zhi Nu.
So, Xiao Si decided to stop playing with these adults for the time being. The palace was too noisy, and she wanted to pursue the simple happiness of her distant countryside.
So she strolled over to Little Pouch No. 2, where Qiu Rongmu found the baby and began a hermit life, following her brother Mu to farm and practice medicine.
Now that's good, the palace is quiet, and Little Si is happy to be free and can finally play in the mud in peace.